The Messed Up Life And Story Of A Stupid Girl
by Garden Gnomie
Summary: Look, you probably want some epic story about how I found myself inside a game... But thats now what your going to get...What you are getting is the truth, nothing added, nothing polished up.
1. and so it begins

**AN:** _Ive read a lot of stories lately about some girl getting sucked into assassins creed, and what a lot of them seem to have in common, is the girl seems to fall in love with Ezio. i can promise you all that this will not happen in this story. _

**Here is the question, **

_can a girl pretend to be something she is not, to get close and guard the people she has watched die?_

_Dont own Assassins creed, but hey neither do you. (okay i own the game but thats it, .he. well i own a copy of the game , but still...)_

**PS. Reviews are expected with awesomeness, (Please don't flame, were all trying to get along here, no need for put downs if you don't like a story)**

**I hope u like the story cus' i think its awesome. Rated T for bad words and stuff like that,**

**that is all, thank you**

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><p>Look, you probably want some epic story about how I found myself inside a game, and too be honest that would be ideal and awesome. But thats now what your going to get. Not going to happen.<p>

What you are getting is the truth, nothing added, nothing polished up.

I was on my was home from the Bristol Renaissance fair on the border of Illinois and Wisconsin. And if your wondering, no, I was not dressed like someone from the Italian Renaissance.

I was wearing wooden dutch clogs, a simple white skirt I had made, with a tan apron attached by buttons sewn on to the skirt. My mother had bought me the top in Holland a few years back at a historic area.

Anyway you probably don't really care, do you? Enough of my ranting. You want to know what happened.

If you know anything about summer in Illinois and the surrounding areas in general, then this wont surprise you. It rains, a lot. And I mean big storms. Thunder, lighting, wind, the works. And sometimes things get knocked over. Especially trees.

So here I am. The stupid girl who didn't want her car to get hot from the sun. So what did I do?

I parked under a old tree so the car would be in shade and stay cool.

Im sure it did, but I never would really know.

The storm came out of nowhere and everyone was running to their cars in the open area, and then there is me, running towards old dead trees. Yes stupid me.

If I had payed attention I would have seen that a few branches were on the ground.

I actually almost made it.

Reaching for the handle to the car door, I heard a snap and a sharp crack. I looked up in horror and that was it.

At first when I woke up I thought I had passed out in the fair, people were in costume eeverywhere,

I tried to sit up but my head hurt, so instead I scanned the area to figure out where in the faire I was.

Thats when I relized, I wasn't.

I could here words, but I had no understanding of them, the language was different. It reminded me of French class in high school. Was I in France?, I listened some more. No.

But the langue was close. Very close. Okay so its one of the romantic languages, and French was off the list, that left Spanish, Romanian, Italian and Latin.

No, not Spanish or Romanian . And not Latin so Italian. Holy crap i'm in Italy. And everyones dressed like people from the Renaissance faire.

I think I'm back in time? yep I have lost it.

This is about the time I began to realize people staring at me. A woman came up to me and reached out a hand. She looked familiar.

"signora, are you alright? Whats your name, where did you come from?"

Wait a sec! Thats modern English, but how? It wasn't even modern english at this time.

I ignored her question, "where am I, when am I?" shit that was worded badly.

The woman raised an eye at me, and looked at my dutch outfit.

"you are a straniero (foreigner) You are in Firenze. I do not understand you other question Signora."

Firenze! I know that town, from Assassins creed 2. must be a coincidence.

"What year is this?" the woman looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"1476, signora are you not well? Do you wish me me to take you home?"

1476... then this is the year that Ezio's brothers and father get hung. Wow I have completely lost it, that was just a game, no way any of it happened.

But what the hell, why not. "I would like that, take me to the house of the Auditore Family."

I was expecting the woman to not know what I was talking about, but instead she looked at me in shock for a different reason.

"I am Claudia Auditore, who are you and how do you know of my family! Are you one of Ezio's fiends?"

well thats why she looked familiar I guess. i shook my head.

Well here goes nothing, make some shit up, I need to get close to the family, maybe pretend to be an assassins? Why not?

"I am Gretel, and I um.. I.. have business to discuss with your father, the banker." wow, that went well, not. And really how stupid am I, what ever happened to giving people fake names.

Am I trying to stand out more?

"I see," was all Claudia had said before I started following her down the streets.

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><p>TO BE CONTINUED IF I GET A REVIEW!<p>

review and make me want to write more of this story, thank you.


	2. Assassin

short chapter

wanted to update

i want to know what you guys want to see happen

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><p>Okay, now I can see the house and I feel like a idiot. What ever happened to planning? Am I trying to get my cover blown before I can even make a decent one?<p>

I didn't even use the time it took to walk here to come up with a damn idea on what my story is.

"My father's office is though the door, knock first." Claudia said pointing at the door.

_{Going to pause here, this is not a story, this happened, this is real, so yes I messed up, and sounded like a moron, but I can't change what happened_.}

Look, I want to say that I took a deep breath here, and walked confidently up to the door, but thats not what happened.

I just stood in place for a minute staring at the door like an idiot.

"_I** said**_**,** my father's office is though the door." Claudia said aggravated.

.0 0. .0 0.

I knocked on the door. No going back now, assassin...

Who am I kidding, my only skill with a blade is using a pocket knife to carve wood. There goes my whole assassin idea.

Good job moron, didn't think this one through. To late to anything about it now.

"Come in," the answer was a mans voice, Giovanni Auditore.

I steeped into the office, closing the door. I made my way across the floor slowly in attempt to not make little noise.

I think by doing that I just made more noise clumping my clogs against the floor.

Giovani looked up from his desk. I swear he was looking at me up and down. He probably thinks I look like a weird person.

"Posso aiutarla?" (Can I help you?) he asked with a eyebrow raised.

I stood there for what I think was forever, but I'm guessing in reality was no more than a minuet, saying nothing.

"I know who you are." I finally said breaking the stupid silence.

Giovanni laughed, yes, he actually laughed at me. " signora, many people know who I am. Is that not why you are here?"

"I am Gretel...," I paused for a second and took a deep breath.

Then without even thinking, I blurted out what was probably the stupidest thing I could say. "I'm an assassin"

What the hell! I have never even killed anyone, why don't I just tell him I can fly while I'm at it.

Giovani stood up leaning over his desk, closer to me.

"straniero (foreigner)," he said harshly "just who are you really" His eyes narrowed in on me. Starting right into mine. His face seemed to be filled with anger.

{am pausing here again; yah I know I seem to be doing this a lot... I don't even want to know what

This guy is intimidating.


	3. Lies

Sorry for the long delay, Here is chapter 3

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><p>Well, now I'm basically screwed. Its not like I can just take back what I said about being an assassin. I had to convince him I'm an assassin even though I'm not. (So ya, laugh all you want, what would you have done in my place?)<p>

All I knew about the assassin were from the games, maybe I could use that to my advantage.

Giovani continued to stare angrily at me. I took a deep breath and looked down, avoiding eye contact. "Nothing is true, everything is permitted" I mumbled nervously. Nice going Gretel, way to sound confident...** NOT!**

Giovani walked over to the window and looked out, checking to see if anyone was around. He glanced at me one more time before closing the shutters.

I froze, either he believed me, or he was going to kill me.

Before I could realize what he was doing Giovani grabbed my wrist tightly and smacked me across the cheek. (ya, I was also like what the hell!)

"Stupido! What are you thinking! Saying that in public! You could have exposed yourself as well as the order. And more importantly, what are you doing _here_?"

What am I doing here? I don't even know what I'm doing here! _Nice going stupid, way to plan ahead. _

I stood still not knowing what to say.

Finally after what seemed like ages I spoke, "I.. I'm sorry.." what am I apologizing for? He just hit me!

Giovani shook his head angrily, "First of all what you just did was dangerous! You could have exposed me and made my family vulnerable!" he paused and held up my both of my arms, "And Secondly, your unarmed! I get it your trying to blend in, but your a woman! Without weapons your _useless_."

He dropped my arms and walked toward the fireplace. "And they claim the Northern European Order is not a joke.." he mumbled to himself.

Northern European Order? Why the hell does is he mentioning that? Shit, my outfit, he thinks I'm apart of that Order.

"Thats not... " I started.

Next thing I knew, I was laying on the ground confused.

Giovani was crouched over me glaring. "**Useless**, _and you call yourself and Assassin_" he hissed in a hushed tone. "If your here for training, then go back to where you came from, you've come to the wrong place."

Okay so ya, I kind of lost my temper here.

"I am not useless!" I growled *I actually made that sound that comes from back of throat.

Ok truth is I was useless. No kidding I wasn't really an assassin!

"Look, I don't know why you came here, but whatever the reason, I can't help you, Leave." He said regaining composure.

"Fine! I will leave! Don't come running to me when you find out you have been betrayed and your family is being jailed and hung for treason! See if I give a damn!"

Damn It I just said that out loud.

Giovani Looked at me, "what do you mean I have been betrayed?"

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><p>Reviews are excepted with air high-fives<p> 


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